Birth Stories
AMELIA Barbara Higham's home birth story
Independent midwife Chris Warren of Yorkshire Storks provided my midwifery care for the second time last year. My antenatal appointments were held in the comfort of my own home at times convenient to me and my family. We'd already built a good relationship during my previous pregnancy and Chris's visits were like social calls since she understood what sort of birth I wanted having attended me at the gentle birth of my second son. On the big day, Chris was a reassuring presence and didn't make me feel as though I was under observation. When I got a bit panicky she said helpful things about how difficult it can be. When I felt a need to sit on a bucket she told me this would help so that I didn't feel silly or undignified!
She said very little and smiled lots. She has such a calm nature and believes that a woman should do what her body is telling her, which helped me to feel in control and breathe out the pain. Her confident easy-going manner was a help to Simon too. He was able to feel confident that things were progressing as they should do allowing him to leave the room to bring our sons to say goodnight and then put them to bed with stories, while I belly danced and focused inwards. Chris monitored the baby's heart and my pulse rate at regular intervals, offered me regular sips of water and unobtrusively wrote notes. Chris's approach is one of least interference - she didn't need to examine me to know that I was dilating. I gave birth squatting in the birthing pool, leaning on the edge and Simon. I held my perfect daughter for ten minutes until the cord stopped pulsating. A few minutes after it was clamped and cut, I climbed out of the pool and nursed my baby. Ten minutes later I birthed the placenta and Chris checked it, weighed Amelia and made us all tea and toast. She cleared up and shared our joy and peaceful conversation in the still of the midnight hour. I settled down in bed with my daughter. I felt happy and relieved that the whole process had been so gentle and yes, even if it is a cliché, empowered and proud of what my body had just done. People often advise 'older' mums (I'm 41) to have hospital births but if you are fit and well I think this is unnecessary. Giving birth is a natural process not an illness. It was lovely for our family to have breakfast together in the morning in bed and introduce Felix and Edgar to their baby sister. Chris continued to visit for six weeks after the birth to monitor our health and provide companionship. The service Chris provides is tailored to suit a mother's individual needs. She will be my lifelong trusted friend.
KATARINA
Parents: Eva & Guy Katarina was born at home after a quick and easy labour. However, the excitement was to start when she was a day old and was suspected to have Down's Syndrome. Thanks to having chosen Yorkshire Storks for my midwifery care we were spared the added anguish of being told these shocking news by an insensitive stranger but by Deb whom we knew and trusted. Blood tests confirmed Deb's suspicion and she continued to be a pillar of support throughout the next few months. Katarina was also found to have a congenital heart defect and required open heart surgery at seven weeks. Her stay in hospital was lengthy and traumatic, but it would have been even harder for us if it hadn't been for Deb's support during those hard times. She didn't discharge us until Katarina was back home again and well on her way to recovery.
BIRTH STORY BERTIE WONG, 12th July 2008 As I write this my baby, Bertie, is nearly 4 weeks old. He is absolutely perfect and our whole family have fallen completely in love with him. I am so excited about the life ahead we will share together and all the memories we are about to create and feel lucky to have so much to look forward to. However I also know that I am able to feel so positive in these early weeks thanks to the happy birth experience we have had and thanks to the amazing care I received before and after Bertie's birth. For this I will always be grateful to Yorkshire Storks. When I found out I was pregnant my husband, Josh, and I instantly started to talk about the type of care we wanted as we knew the difference this could make. Bertie is our third child and our elder children were born in London. After a difficult first birth (induction, epidural, ventouse, episiotomy…) we experienced a lovely home birth with NHS care for our second child's birth. We knew we wanted to repeat this positive experience and were keen to have another home birth. We were aware that staff shortages in York could sometimes lead to homebirth services being cancelled and we felt anxious about this. We knew that booking with Independent Midwives would increase the likelihood of being able to deliver at home, yet we were concerned about the financial implications. Looking back now, we would both say it was one of the best investments we have ever made. The antenatal care I received was thorough and relaxed. Regular appointments at home, at a time to suit me, gave me ample opportunity to ask questions and get to know Chris, Michelle and Kim. I was able to build up real confidence in tem and I knew I would not mind who attended me during labour, I was equally comfortable with them all. The labour itself was great! If I could have planned the perfect birth experience this would probably have been it. I was almost 2 weeks overdue and very frustrated. For about 10 days I had been having strong Braxton Hicks contractions and although painful, they never developed into anything more than this. At 9.15pm on Saturday 12th July I felt my first contraction. By 9.25pm, 3 or 4 contractions later, I knew we needed to call Chris as the contractions were coming thick and fast. Once I knew she was on her way labour progressed quickly and I felt comfortable and in control. We were able to set up the environment we wanted for the birth in our sitting room and I had the privacy to labour in a way that felt right for me. We lit candles and aromatherapy oil burners and I rocked on my birth ball while Josh filled the birth pool. I also smelt a flannel with lavender oil during particularly intense contractions. When Chris and Kim arrived they observed me unobtrusively before checking my pulse and the baby’s heart rate. Labour progressed quickly and when I felt scared Chris offered calm reassurance that everything was okay. As soon as the pool was ready, Josh and I both got in. It was a wonderful feeling getting in to the deep water and although the intensity of the contractions continued the water was soothing and comforting. It was invaluable support for me having Josh in the pool and enabled us to feel we were birthing our baby together. Chris and Kim were mindful of our privacy and left us alone for a while. After 20 minutes or so in the pool the nature of the contractions changed and I felt I could feel the baby’s head descending. I became very hot and uncomfortable and was comforted by Chris and Kim holding cold flannels on my forehead and pouring cold water down my back. At 11.45pm my waters finally broke and I felt immense relief and believed that we were now soon going to meet our baby. Shortly after this at 11.48pm our baby’s head was born into the water, followed by his body a couple of minutes later. Kim caught the baby and passed him to me. It felt such a wonderful way to give birth. Josh had been very much part of the birth experience and it was such a gentle way for our baby to enter the world. The three of us sat in the pool together while the cord stopped pulsating, but after 15 minutes or so I felt cold and shivery and decided to get out of the water to birth the placenta. As soon as I stood up and got out of the pool the placenta came away. I was then able to relax on the sofa cuddling my baby. We couldn’t have wished for more, we had welcomed our beautiful baby boy into the world while his older sister and brother slept peacefully upstairs, thanks to the support of two wonderful midwives who we knew and trusted. Josh and I will treasure the memories of Bertie’s happy birth experience for a long long time. The post-natal care I have received in these early days of Bertie's life have really helped our whole family begin to adjust to life with Bertie and hopefully set us up for a happy future together. Chris and Kim have visited regularly and been so generous with their time. They have involved the whole family in visits. It has been invaluable support. At the moment we genuinely don't know what the future holds for us, but a very good reason to extend our family would be to be able to book again with Yorkshire Storks. I will miss my regular visits and can not thank Chris, Kim and Michelle enough for all the support and care they have shown me over the past few months. I feel genuinely privileged and hope that they know how much they are appreciated. To offer a family a start like they've given us is so precious and we will be forever grateful.
Polly Wong 12th August 2008
Caro & Twins - born at home
Pictured - Big bro Charles and Babes Jaimie and Corem Choosing to give birth at home instead of in the apparent safety of hospital used to seem particularly counter-intuitive to me. For my first child, who was born in Australia, I chose a high-tech hospital and, unwittingly, antibiotics, monitors, drips, an epidural and ventouse delivery. The only births I’d ‘seen’ were dramatic, scary emergencies in films and on television. I assumed birth was always a medical accident waiting to happen. Nine years later and there I was at the age of 40 giving birth to twins in the comfort of my own bedroom. After meeting some amazing women who’d given birth at home and reading countless books on the subject, I’d realised that many of the routine practices of hospital birth were simply not backed up by research (see resource list below). And by now I understood that for the body to work well at labour and birth, a woman needs to feel she is in a very private and secure environment, preferably a familiar one. Before we knew I was expecting twins I was advised by NHS midwives that I couldn’t have a home birth as my first son had weighed 10lbs 3oz at birth. We were lucky enough to hear from friends about their wonderful experiences with independent midwife Chris Warren from Yorkshire Storks. We soon found that Chris and her colleagues, Michelle and Debs, were not a bit scared of attending me at home; it certainly isn’t unusual for them to attend women who’ve been told by the NHS that they are too ’high-risk’ for a home birth. It was exasperating to have to pay for a service we thought the NHS would provide (it is, after all, cheaper for the NHS to support a home birth than to have a woman give birth in hospital) but Chris was worth every penny and more. Particularly when we found out later that I was carrying twins, particularly when I tested positive for Strep B, particularly when my waters broke prematurely three weeks before I actually gave birth, particularly when the first twin came out breech…. The labour started with tiny stomach cramps in the early morning and progressed gradually throughout the day. I spent the day lazing on my bed reading magazines until I couldn’t concentrate. When my husband told Chris that I was no longer able to talk to her on the phone, she decided that she and Michelle really ought to come over. They arrived around an hour before Corem and Jaimie were born. I remember feeling shaky, complaining about pressure on my bowels and saying I couldn’t cope any more -- I didn’t realise this meant the first twin was close to being born. Chris advised my husband to get his camera ready as it was clear his attempts to fill the birthing pool in the other room were going to be in vain. She gave me some Rescue Remedy and before long was telling us she could see hair. Next minute she asked if I wanted to turn onto all-fours. I did, with my head and shoulders supported by my husband (one of my nicest memories of the birth). What I thought was the baby’s head coming out was actually the body and I can still hear Chris’s words telling me that he was coming 'buttocks first'. The next few seconds (minutes?) seemed like hours -- with the baby’s head still inside I knew I had to relax as much as I could. All Chris did was support him as he dangled and the next thing I knew he was out. The next twin zoomed out head-first minutes later while I was turning back over and trying to look at the first on the bed -- good job Chris correctly interpreted my words "I can't really concentrate" and moved to the side of the bed to catch him! We’d read that partners should protect the birthing mother from anyone who tells them to push when they don’t feel the urge to -- but it was a complete surprise to realise that I hadn’t needed to do any conscious ‘pushing’ at all -- something I have since learned is quite normal (but who would know that having been through the hospital birthing system?). I fed the babies soon after and then left them wrapped up in my husband’s arms while I went to the toilet. The placenta duly landed in the toilet bowl and I went for a shower before getting back into bed with them to have cake and champagne and make some phone calls.
My top three most useful home-birth resources (after my husband and my lovely midwives of course): AIMS -- Association for Improvements in the Maternity Services Preparing for Birth: Mothers The Birth Book
Jennifer My Birth Story – A forty-something first time Mum Life is such that things never turn out the way you expect them to… So, finally at 43 I found myself dancing round the bathroom celebrating the X on the pregnancy test stick. I hadn’t waited so long out of choice or because of any medical problems – it just took me a while to find the right man. At the back of my mind I was slightly concerned about being an older first time Mum but I’m quite fit, have no major health problems, am not overweight and don’t smoke so that seemed a good starting point. I have been a surrogate aunt to a whole generation of children, the oldest of which is now 18 so I had formed some clear opinions about what kind of birth I wanted: a birth pool was the thing for me. My first visit to the midwife was very sobering. Birth pool? – No can do. The reason why is simple based on the NHS guidelines 44 years old at delivery => high risk => obstetrician-led care =>hospital delivery and the brand-new purpose built Durham University Hospital does not have a pool despite the fact that labouring in water is known to be extremely good for pain management. Well, I’m a stoic kind of person so I just thought that was the final word and went away to gestate for a few months. The pregnancy was completely trouble-free and all ante-natal scans were fine. I wasn’t sure I’d heard right when the obstetrician said he’d be inducing me at 40 weeks. He confirmed that this was the hospital guideline for my "high-risk" status. Well, time went by and finally it was time to start ante-natal classes. I had repeatedly asked to be put down for the ante-natal classes run by the local team of NHS midwives. At first the answer had been –"it’s too early" Now – to my alarm - the answer was "we’re booked out". I was outraged – first you tell me I’m high-risk and then you can’t even provide me with an opportunity to prepare properly! Fortunately I had managed to book a place on the NCT run course on my own initiative. Suddenly the "due date" seemed to spring out at me every time I looked at a calendar. This was real! I was going to give birth and the NCT classes suggested it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. Did I want an induced hospital delivery with a rota of midwives and other hospital and staff coming and going? Did I want to be at the mercy of those inflexible hospital "guidelines"? No I did not! I wanted a pool, a labour which started naturally and a midwife who was going to be there from beginning to end. So I decided to try and get just that. An independent midwife seemed to be the only way to get the kind of birth I wanted so at 36 weeks I had my "get to know you" meeting with Debs and Chris of York Storks midwives. They were both very well informed and wonderfully calm and collected - even at this late stage they were willing to take me on. Marvellously age was no issue (hurrah!) and as I was fit and well they were perfectly happy with my suggestion of a water birth at home. That day a heavy weight lifted from my heart and I could really look forward to the birth. I got busy on the internet and my "birth-pool-in-a-box" arrived a few days later J During the next few weeks things went well. I kept up my NHS ante-natal visits but also had parallel visits from Debs and Chris. I told the NHS midwives what I was up to and was surprised when the response was quite positive. Working with Debs they arranged for me to have a delivery of gas and air canisters at home as if I was having a community midwife supported home birth. I had a meeting with the obstetrician (very scary) in which I declined to be induced, declined to "book" a hospital delivery and requested fetal monitoring after Wk40 instead. I had done a lot of internet research beforehand and was quite clear of the pros and cons. I was even able to point out that fetal monitoring was actually stated as an option in the NICE guidelines. The obstetrician sized up the situation quickly, for the record he insisted on stating the official hospital line, made me sign against a written statement that I was declining induction and then, just as we were leaving he said "You’ll be fine!" Finally we unpacked the birth pool, inflated it, tested it for leaks, tested the tap connectors and then waited. What happened next? At 40 Wks I started fetal monitoring at the hospital every 2-3 days, at "due date plus 7" my waters broke so I contacted Debs to put her on red alert. The next day my contractions started in the morning. By 3pm the contractions were getting quite strong, by 4pm Debs had arrived and the birth pool in the living room was being filled. I spent the next 6 hours in the pool just as I’d wanted supported by Debs, a trainee midwife and husband Mike and taking big gulps of gas and air. Reassuringly Debs was able to monitor the baby’s heartbeat using an handheld electronic probe at any time and I reached full dilation with no problems. In the second stage things went less smoothly. The gas and air looked like it was running out and the ambulance had to bring a new canister from the hospital. The trainee midwife dipped the "non-waterproof" part of the electronic probe in the pool meaning the baby’s heartbeat could only be monitored using the midwife’s wooden "trumpet". The ambulance was requested to return and remain on stand by while a replacement probe was collected from the hospital! Also, after pushing for two hours I was getting very tired and the gas and air just didn’t seem to be helping. I could feel the top of the baby’s head with my fingers but it didn’t seem to be descending. That was the point that we (all of us) discussed the options and I decided to transfer to hospital. The ambulance came back again and in the blink of an eye I was on the labour ward. The baby just did not seem to want to budge so I agreed to go into theatre and the plan was to try ventouse, then forceps if necessary and if all else failed I would have to have a caesarean section. This was the scary bit. At my request both Debs my independent midwife and husband Mike were allowed into theatre with me. The spinal anaesthetic made me completely numb below the waist but somehow I could feel just enough to push when instructed. Ventouse didn’t shift the baby but the forceps were a success and Alex popped into the world at just after midnight looking like he’d been in a fight with blue bruises on his face and a cauliflower ear. I was able to hold him immediately which was just as I’d hoped. He was fit and well if a little tired from his ordeal. Baby Alex and I spent the next day in hospital sleeping, getting started with breast-feeding, bathing and so on. Chris my second independent mid-wife did the first post-natal visit while I was still in the hospital and it was a real pleasure to see her. At 8pm that evening we were discharged and back home. Debs and Chris were a great support in the weeks following the birth and helped enormously with making me feel comfortable (I was black and blue too), helping with breast-feeding problems and in many other ways. They spent a lot of time with me talking things over, which was the most valuable part of their support. As Alex had trouble breast-feeding and regaining his birth-weight they continued to visit until he was stable and thriving. Again, I had the continuity of care which I had wanted. Later, when I requested my birth notes from the hospital, they also helped me understand how the hospital had assessed me on arrival and what procedures they had used. These confirmed that Alex had managed to turn himself into a very unhelpful position. The attempted Ventouse delivery had managed to turn him into a better orientation which is why the forceps delivery was then successful. So, what is my advice to anyone over 40 who is fit and healthy and about to be a first time Mum? Don’t be hemmed in by the one-size fits all midwifery service and hospital guidelines which are sometimes applied rigidly and without thinking.
Looking back I can say that I had a very satisfying birth experience. It wasn’t exactly how I’d hoped it would be but most of the labour was at home in the birth pool. Also, the hospital provided an excellent level of care and medical expertise when I really needed it. I felt I was fully involved in the birth the whole time – I was never on the "side-lines" having things done to me. Alex is now a happy and healthy 8 1/2 month old and would I do it all again? Yes, if I was younger J .
Susan and Josif My name is Susan. I recently had my fifth child, Josif. I was 42 and wanted to have my baby at home as my hospital experiences had not been very positive. When I went for my first appointment with Josif, I was told it was a high risk pregnancy because of my age and I have a Rhesus problem (low level Anti E antibodies). I see a naturopath and spoke to him. He put me on to Chris at Yorkshire Storks. Debs came out to see me and we discussed my pregnancy and birth. I felt at ease and told her that some of the fear had been taken away just by knowing that I could give birth at home. I was visited by Chris and Debs regularly, they spent lots of time discussing the questions and fears I had. They also took care of all my blood and other tests which was a load off my mind, and I build a relationship with them and knew I could trust them. Josif was born on 6th Oct 06 and Chris came early and stayed with me the whole time. My experience this time was of calm and control. It was a special thing to give birth at home and I am very grateful to Chris and Debs for helping with this , as I was quite phobic of labour previous to this. My four children not present during the labour and birth because they chose not to be, but were in the house and came in as soon as he was born, which was a gift in itself. I must add that my husband had reservations about me giving birth at home as he had been present during the four other hospital births but he was amazed at how smoothly and naturally things went, it was a very peaceful situation for all of us. Chris and Debs visited every day for a week and then for 6 weeks which, even after four children was really helpful. I have discussed the birth with my naturopath and he and I believe that his birth has helped Josif to be the contented and happy baby that he is. I can honestly say that I don’t feel the same way about giving birth as I once did, I now feel it can be a very positive experience rather than a dreaded one. Thanks to Yorkshire Storks.
Romy
Birth Story by Romy Smithson (aged 7.)
I woke up to find Mummy in labour. I was excited. I came downstairs and I slept on the settee. The birth pool was filled up and Nana was sleeping in my room. In the morning I made a cake and some biscuits with Nana and the midwife came for a check-up. she said Mummy was 3-4cm and it could take a long time. When the midwife had gone me and Nana went to the shop and she bought me two magazines. We then went upstairs for a nap but Mummy couldn't sleep. When we got up Mummy was in the pool. Nana rang Mummy's friend up and in a few minutes she came running in. I got in the pool. The midwife and a student arrived. Mummy said she was going to push so I got out! After a while I went upstairs with Nana. Everyone shouted "Romy!" and we got down just in time. I cut the cord with Daddy and dressed my sister after I held her skin-to-skin. I love her so much. I am really glad I was there to see her being born. I will remember it forever.
Birth Story – Owen Conor
Ok, some back story to my choices. My first son was a planned homebirth. He had been three weeks late and I had a real battle with the NHS. I had a really positive 1st stage but a difficult second stage due to him being back to back with the cord wrapped twice around him. I went into hospital afterwards as his apgars were low and it was the most horrendous experience and made me vow to never go in again! This time round I decided to take no chances with the NHS and booked an independent midwife. Michelle is the most amazing woman, experienced, knowledgeable, calm, confident and utterly convinced that women will labour instinctively and positively if allowed to do so. Michelle visited the day before Owen was born and we joked that I had decided to labour the next day, after breakfast, and be done before Niall’s bedtime so he could meet his baby brother. The next morning was a beautiful sunny Saturday. We all got up, had breakfast together and began to potter. At around 10am I had a brief achy feeling in my lower back which made me stand up. I got a few more of these before starting to experience some random tightenings with mild cramps. This made me really hopeful, but I tried not to get too excited. Just after noon we went for a walk to the local shop and they became more frequent, between 5-7 minutes apart but not very intense. I phoned Michelle to let her know that things were starting and agreed to ring when they were more regular. Dermot began assembling and filling the pool and I put the TENS on. I then started reorganising my kitchen in between contractions! My friend Debbie popped over and joined in with me. Niall went over to a neighbour’s house to play. By 2pm the surges were becoming more intense and regular – every 5 minutes and by 3pm I was making low noises and concentrating with each one. I rang Michelle who said she’d be straight over and then put on some music. At this point I just started dancing. I had a playlist with lots of stuff like Faithless, Basement Jaxx, Chicane, Moby etc. It felt so right just to be dancing round the kitchen, swaying my hips. I had my clary sage oil burning on the work top and bent over that rotating my hips to each contraction, then carried on dancing. I would recommend this to anyone especially as I was later told that belly dancing was originally a birth dance! My system was flooded with endorphins and I felt so high. Both Debbie and Michelle had a dance with me before Debbie went home. At around 6pm the surges started to be felt more in my lower back and I was asking Michelle and Dermot to put counter pressure to the base of my spine – heaven! At 6.25pm I decided to get in the pool. The warm water was lovely and I got on all 4 fours swinging my hips and lowing with the surges. Both Michelle and Dermot continued with the counter pressure, putting their full weight into it. I’m surprised I’m not bruised back there! Derm told me at one point he released pressure to change position and I growled at him ‘BACK!’ It was the voice of command apparently. I soon began to feel mounting pressure as Owen began to descend, I stayed very relaxed and made positive noises, saying ‘yes’ and other words of encouragement. My waters eventually went in the pool at 6:55 and were clear. Over the next 15 minutes I could feel Owen’s head moving down and at 7:10 I could feel the top of his head with my hand. The contractions were now very strong expulsive ones and I knew with some help from me I could birth him quickly, however, I was conscious of not wanting to tear and took it very slowly. I talked to him all the way through, telling him what a good boy he was and how well he was doing and what I was doing. I went easy on the next few contractions, easing him out slowly and holding the top of his head. I pushed the sides of my labia over his head and felt him crown. I remember telling him over and over ‘it’s ok’ and I was also telling myself, reminding myself not to panic but to stay calm and relaxed. Two minutes later the next contraction moved his head out and with the next one he was born. He did a bit of a corkscrew and shot out. Michelle pushed him back between my legs and I lifted him out of the water for his first cuddle! Michelle and I blew on his face and talked to him as he cried and gasped a couple of times before breathing and pinking up. 10 minutes later Niall came home and met his little brother for the first time. He seemed quite impressed! Owen and I stayed in the pool together for another hour. Owen latched onto my breast like a pro and had a good half hour feed. At around 8:30 I had still not birthed the placenta and was having lots of cramps. Dermot cut the cord once it had stopped pulsating and had his first skin to skin cuddle with his new son. I eventually turned onto my back and manually removed the placenta. It slid free with a little pressure on the cord. I then got out of the pool to be checked over by Michelle. Owen was weighed and surprised us all by being 9lb 6oz! We’d all guessed lower. Niall’s grandparents took him to theirs for the night and Dermot and Michelle emptied the pool whilst I had a well earned glass of fizz! We were then tucked up in bed together with our little treasure to spend the first of many sleepless nights. All in all I could not have wished for a better birth experience. I had one small 2nd degree tear but it’s healing nicely on its own. I felt happy and relaxed throughout and this is what made it so manageable. Having Michelle there gave me confidence and she did that through allowing me to birth my own way, to be the expert on my own body and not taking that power away from me. She checked Owen’s heart rate periodically but that was the extent of her intervention (besides the counter pressure). I would advise anyone wanting a natural birth to look at hiring an independent midwife, they are fantastic. I had great care from the team at Yorkshire Storks throughout my pregnancy, a wonderful birth experience and the post natal care has been outstanding. Michelle made me stay in bed for a week after the birth, and despite my initial reluctance I am so glad I listened. 3 Cheers for babymoons! Rhian
|
